need to change

my way of thinking.
I need to realize that the universe is not out to get me. I need to realize that things happen whether you are a good person or a bad person. You are defined by how you handle bad times. I remember thinking about it years ago when I thought things were bad, ha!, how you handle the bad times determines how your good times are. I have not been handling things well. I am feeling like things are very unfair right now. Not just fr me. I feel like there are too many bad things happening to good people. It makes me want to cry, to make things better for them. But also I need them to be better for me too. I can't do it all.
So I need to change my thinking. It really helps that i talked to a friend today that holds similar beliefs. It really really helped. I need to have faith. I need to realize this is a bump. Who knows how long this bump will last, but it is a bump. Bumps go away. There will be more bumps, I am sure, but they also will go away. There will be times between the bad just like there are times between the good. Would I prefer not to have good or bad? No. We are reading A Wrinkle in Time, yes still. And they are facing the man with red eyes right now. He says something about becoming one with him, never having to feel bad anymore, never being sick, everything being perfect. Never having to worry again. And for a second I thought oh wow that would just be nice right now. I almost gave into that feeling. The feeling that life wasn't worth it. But then I thought no, it isn't life, life is not perfect, life is not free from worry. You need these bumps to appreciate the good times. Bumps have their place. I feel like I am repeating myself and not really going anywhere with this post.

and to close, there is something completely and wonderfully sweet and innocent about dirty toddler feet. No, they did not get this dirty at my house. I do vacuum more often than that. She collected dirt everywhere we went today. Somewhere around 2 the dirtiness stops being so cute. I am going to try and enjoy the sweetness of these feet before they turn into sweaty stinky dirty toddler toes laugh