Giving up?

Okay, for those who don't know, still no pictures. I can't even do old pictures because of a water incident on my laptop. Jack doesn't have a thing to get pictures on his, and I don't want to put them on his laptop anyway. I would like all of our pictures in the same place. So, ya'll get to hear me bitch. Ready?
I want to give up. It was a post on a message board not that long ago, asking how military moms do it. The answer was usually something like, you have no choice, you just do it. Some of us have it easier than others, like I would never compare my military experience to my friend Monica. To have my husband gone for so long, to give birth while Jack was gone...everything she has had to do. I so look up to her and her strength. I know we are only given what we can handle. But something else has been going through my head lately. So geeky here, but just listen. Jack got me into d&d, an d sometimes he would throw things at us that were way above what we could handle. He said sometimes I want to see if you are smart enough to run. This totally goes against all that I believe and maybe it is a military thing, whatever gets thrown at you, you do it, no questions asked. So, right now I have been starting my day with totally cleaning the house. It is supposed to be on the market on Tuesday. I am trying to get three years of work done in a week. Jack can't help me. We found out that friends coming over with kids doesn't work so well. So it is me, with three kids trying to get all this done while homeschooling, making sure they are fed and trying to give them activities so they don't beat the crap out of each other. And today, after pretty much making the upstairs look better than it ever has, I am burned out. I can't do it anymore. The thought of all of this has gotten me so down that I feel sick. I have to thank my brother though, he just got stationed here. He has been working out in the yard and helping me with the kids a lot. I now know what it is to have family to help. This is a totally new experience for me. But today will probably be the last day he gets to help because his boat is pulling in. And then it is just me again. And what happens if I give up? We probably wouldn't be able to sell the house, we wouldn't be ready to pack and move, and we would lose a lot of money, money we can't afford, who can?, to lose. So, umm, I don't have a choice, do I? I keep trying to think that this is one of those things that is crazy while it is happening but it all works out in the end, with me not losing my sanity at the end. I keep trying to tell myself that that is what this is. But I am having a hard time since there are things I CANNOT do with three kids, more like I cannot do with a five month old. So there, my bitching. Maybe now I will get off my ass and get stuff done and in four, five, six months when this adventure is over I can pat myself on the back and say I did it, it is either that or I will be banging my head against a white padded wall.